Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Reset Your Mindset

I recently had one of our "over 50" Life Balance Retreat attendees tell me, "I wish I could reset my thoughts and be more positive about life and my job." I replied, "You can, and here's how The Course of 10,000 Days suggests you do it!"

I'm sure you've heard the expression, "You are what you eat." Well, here's a variation on that theme. "You are what you think!" Here's a simple three-step process from The Course of 10,000 Days to help you reset your mindset.

First, of all, ask yourself this question: "What are you thinking, and why?" When you find yourself focused on negative thoughts or self-criticism, change it immediately from self-directed negativism to questions. For example, if you screwed-up on a project at work, and you are beating yourself up over the mistake, reset your mindset by asking questions like, "Okay, this didn't go the way I wanted it to, so what could I do differently next time to create a successful outcome?" (use a mind-mapping system to plot out each step of your project).  Or, let's say you get home from the grocery store only to realize you forgot to buy the chicken. Ask yourself, "Okay, what can I do to make sure I don't forget to buy important items at the store? (make a list on your smart phone).  They key is to seek information and solutions rather than get mired in self-criticism. The fact is we all mess up or drop the ball from time to time. It's part of being human. Don't sweat the small stuff, okay!

Secondly, program your mind at the start of each day by doing the "BAG IT" exercise. Think of three Blessings, Accomplishments and Goals in your life. It can be anything -- big or small. The key is to acknowledge your gifts and talents as well as all the things you have going for you in life.


Finally, step three, is "Deflect and Redirect." For example, when someone directs criticism or a negative comment at you, pause for a moment and restate their comment in a neutral or positive way. For example, if your spouse or significant other criticizes you for driving too slowly, your response might be, "I drive slowly because it allows me to avoid accidents and reduces my reaction time in heavy traffic."  "What you've done is deflect the criticism away from you and neutralized the criticism by stating why you drive slowly.

So, reset your mindset by creating more positive thoughts and neutralizing criticism. It will also help you build your self-esteem.

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